--Pick a pocket or two
--Spend the rest of your life in a ratty wedding dress
--Send an orphan to live in a debtor's prison
UPDATE: More ways--
--Die before finishing your last novel and watch hopelessly as the "Pina Colada Song" guy turns it into a musical
--Reminisce about Fezziwig, the only decent boss you've ever had
*Yes, a character in Bleak House bursts into flames for no explainable reason. I've decided I want to go by spontaneous combustion. I'll be at a fancy dinner party, dressed in a tuxedo, and at some point I'll get up from the table and say: "Is it hot in here, or is it just me?" And burst into flames. Though if it's planned, I guess it's not very spontaneous, is it?